Washed out: Laments of a forgotten artist – A to Z Challenge

As we grow older, there are many things we learn to let go, there are other aspects we are forced to let go off and still other intrinsic part of us that simply slip away like the stillness of a hot day, like a thief in the night.

We exist on so many levels. There are numerous facets to us. No, I do not imply a multi-personality, but we all have rounded characters. We don’t have flat personalities, it is in a state of constant flux. There are many things that make us, us.

I used to be an artist, or at least I thought of myself as one. Since childhood, like any toddler with a mind of her own, I would sketch, draw and paint over any surface I could get my puny hands on. I was told stories that drawing on the walls attracted ghosts; I remember my mum suffering from spondylosis, spasms that increased since the day she scrubbed my masterpiece off the metal almirah, a fact I’m reminded till date. I even had multiple notebooks filled with designs of apparels. But having shifted too many times, they’ve found their way to the scrapyard. I was too young to be consulted on this, especially since I was clearly a hoarder. I was pushed towards the fine arts, having undergone weekly classes and annual examinations. But all this seems like such a blur.

In the midst of entrance examinations, extra classes, assignments, and a whole lot of turbulence, it seems that this intrinsic part of me has dissolved into ether. Every time I stare at a blank canvas, I find it extremely dauntless and it scares me to bits. My mind seems blank and despite every attempt to kick start that element in me, it all horribly goes down the drain, or out the window. It hurts that I’ve been reduced to the status of ‘Sunday painter’, some times not even that.

The challenge in bringing out that sedated artist in me in definitely taking a lot of time and effort, but I don’t intend to stop trying, even if I’m left with hordes of unfinished creations.

This post is part of the seventh annual A to Z Challenge that takes place in the month of April. The theme for this month is ‘Every Day Musings’. It’s my first attempt at this. Feedback is most welcome, constructive criticism, even more. Share your experiences and let’s enjoy this month of fabulous blogging. If you want to know more about this challenge, click here.

20 thoughts on “Washed out: Laments of a forgotten artist – A to Z Challenge

  1. Every year, every experience, every moment will change the result…bringing intimacy and compassion. You must keep trying…and allow yourself to transfer your heart onto the canvas. Can’t wait to see the works…HUGS!


  2. Lovely paintings. You are so right about life. There are things that are close to us at some point in time and then we let them go. With time, to the junk yard. Till one day when we realize that life’s too short to not follow passions and dreams.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Opening back up to the artist in you sounds like it would be a very healing journey to go on! You might give this website a look. I took her e course last year and was amazed at the paintings and the unfolding process. I’m not an artist by trade, just did it for fun and self development. It was totally worth it. It’s a way of doing art based on intuition i the moment. I loved it. https://florabowley.com/workshops/ Melissa from http://littlecunningplan.com/2016/04/v-is-for-vladimir-putin-and-various-other-madmen/

    Liked by 1 person

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